Spring Break Suckage

This spring break is bending over and taking it up the ass currently. It's flying by too fast for starters...already we're on the back end towards Wednesday, and I head back to school Sunday. Most of my south side friends aren't on break till next week, so barely anyone is within a convenient time zone to do anything. I miss my college friends, but they're either way out in the bufu burbs or in another state entirely. Both my parents are at work, little brother's in school. The part-time job I did over winter break briefly still hasn't called. Icing on the cake, Mishka's hardly returning any of my texts. It's like his learning curve is basically zero. And it sucks.

The only positive thing that's happened so far is going to see my little cousins and act as the "in loco pater" as my uncle is out of town for the week. They're so cute, they get upset over the weirdest things and they're discovering the Internet memes that I grew up with as a kid. I'm so proud.


All I've done beyond that is sleep and do homework. I'm going insane. I'm upset. I'm pissed off. The only possible glimmers of hope that I see for potentially salvaging this break are going to the International Museum of Surgical Science and my brother's play "Comic Strips." I had no idea the IMSS existed right within my own city. It looks über awesome - just like Gunther von Hagens' "Body Worlds" exhibits that toured at the Museum of Science and Industry. I dunno if anybody feels gutsy enough to go with me though, might just have to be my own odyssey.

As of now I have my hopes pinned on those two things. I can only hope summer is better than this, but I don't think I should be getting my hopes up too high.

Sorry for the rant today guys, I really needed to vent the tension somewhere before I exploded.

< /rant >

Spring Break Suckage

At War With Myself

Do you ever have one of those phases in your life where people from your past just blindside you and you're completely taken aback?

I have. It's happened twice in the span of only a few months. And I'm troubled by it.

The first time it happened, well, whoever reads this knows how well that turned out. I kicked that person out forever, at least I'm certain I did this time. Today, a new contender entered the ring. All I will say is this person and I had a horrific falling out. Biting words were exchanged, there was the battle of the wills, some sleepless nights. We haven't really spoken in...a couple years now. Until today, that is.

I'm uncertain how to proceed. I am pleased and relieved that this person doesn't hate my guts. I was quite frankly very surprised they still even wanted to talk to me. It was really nice, just being human to each other again. Though...I am perturbed, nay, perhaps even afraid of letting this person back in. This person has expectations that I'm not sure I can guarantee in the long run. I don't know how to say that all I want is to be just friends, no more and no less. If I were to let them back in, the very best they could hope for is just friendship.

Maybe...maybe I just shouldn't...just shouldn't at all. This is just asking for trouble. No good is going to come out of this. But...I can't be the heartless villain. Not again. I dunno if I have the heart to crush this reconciliation before it even begins fully. But at the same time, it's not fair to me, but more importantly it's not fair to Mishka, not in the slightest. I don't want to even entertain the most minuscule notion of wrecking the fantastical thing I have. Not ever. Not over something like this especially, it'd be just shameful.

Damned if I care, damned if I don't....

At War With Myself

AdventureTime in College: The Invisible Tie Dilemma

The tie. A symbol of the well-to-do. A decorative piece for the neck. A typical part of formal office wear. In college especially, a clear warning to stay the fuck out of the room, lest you wish to die a horrid death at the hands of your roommate. It clearly says "YOU! SHALL NOT! PAASSS!" At least it should. If they made talking ties that actually said that I would totally buy them all. But I digress...

This past Friday my roommate decided to inform me last minute that her out of town boyfriend would be staying over this weekend. This happened twice last semester as well, so by this point I knew the drill: vacate. She informed that he would be leaving at some point today, but didn't really expound on when. The stage was then set for me to gain my advantage over her.

This weekend my football game was the earliest yet, round one in the afternoon. I left my temporary den and descended to grab my change of clothes and be on my way. When I got to my door, I found the handle unlocked, and from what I could tell it didn't sound like there was much activity going on inside the room, so naturally I went inside.



Oh how to describe what was going on. I had apparently chosen the opportune moment to interrupt my roommate's "happy time" with her boyfriend. Probably the most hilarious part was when she decided to try and hide what was going on. I wasn't born yesterday, guys.

This brings me to ask, "What the fuck." Are you that moronic that you couldn't take one of my neckties and hang it over the doorknob, or even a sock? Did it occur to either of you to at least lock the door so at the very least you would have an extra three seconds to compose yourselves? Invisible ties don't count people. If you're too lazy to do even that at least send a courtesy text that says "Don't come in for another 12 minutes." I'll know then to stay away. I told my dad this story and he suggested next time I tarry my stay and rummage through drawers and the like. I on the other hand think my 30 second intrusion was more than enough to kill the buzz. She's been doing the "Walk of Shame" ever since for the rest of the day. The power I have....it's delicious. Believe me, if the situation calls for it, I will use it. It's my Ring of Power, and if you need to go down I'll see that I bring you down.

Next time chica, take a lesson from Gandalf and block me properly.

AdventureTime in College: The Invisible Tie Dilemma

Words Are Getting Smaller, And So Are Our Brains

I'm just going to come right out and say that I'm a proper grammar enthusiast. I know when to use "you're" and "your" and also the differences between "there," "their" and "they're." I avoid abbreviating like the plague, especially in texting or chatspeak; seriously, if it's a three letter word, take the extra two seconds to spell it out.

Speaking of texting and chatspeak, today's writing class prompt revolved around texting and the impact on language (by the way that's another thing I hate..."impact" is not a verb, it is solely a noun, even if the online dictionary says otherwise). Teens in particular are changing the way humans interact with each other. With innovations such as online networking and texting, there's no apparent need for developed social skills. There's decreased demand for knowing how to fill in awkward silences or politely ending a conversation. Pretty soon we're just going to be right next to each other talking to each other on a holographic screen in a big fat floating chair, just like in WALL-E. 


I can understand the need to abbreviate some words. At least with my own texting plan, I have a 160 character limit, therefore I have to get my point across in as few words as possible. It becomes an issue though when that type of shorthand starts leaking into formal papers. Imagine Einstein presenting his theory of relativity with text speak. It would be a laughingstock to science. Try picturing Demosthenes tweeting his speeches online instead of practicing his orations with pebbles in his mouth over the sound of crashing waves. Horrific, isn't it.

                                                                           Demosthenes' mock tweet. It physically pained me to write it out...

I honestly hope it's just a phase in the evolution of language. I mean look how far we've come since scratching out rough outlines with berry juice on cave walls. With luck, we'll reverse the rapid shrinking of our brains and figure out that copying the dictionary might actually make us a bit more literate...or I guess that was just Malcolm X's stint.


On a side note, the comment section is now open for input. I finally figured out why my sparse audience wasn't able to say anything at all...bah, stupid Blogger and your asinine restrictions on embedding comments.

Words Are Getting Smaller, And So Are Our Brains

AdventureTime in College: The Confrontation Consideration

It's been three years since I've played the glorious game of football. This past Sunday I had the chance to get back into the game in my university's intramural leagues on a co-rec team. It felt pretty good to be back running around kicking the crap out of a leather sphere. It felt even better to play with a mixed gender team; I always thought that playing with boys was better than playing with all girls. I thought they put less drama into the game, unless it was for a reason. My pleasure however was a bittersweet pill.

A word about my team: this was the first time we've all played together, so naturally I wasn't expecting plays to connect right away. I would compare the composition to a typical American Youth Soccer Organization team: a few excellent players, a handful of about average players and still a few who have the capacity to be good but need a little push to be more assertive and aggressive.

Unfortunately, our first game was definitely not the best I've ever played with a team. From what I understood, we were up against a team where about half or more of them played on the club team. It started out as good fun, but before the first half even ended it had become a bloodsport. In my opinion, they were total assholes, with no sense of honor or respect to us. To my knowledge, there is no existing slaughter rule in this league, so that apparently encouraged this opponent to be complete dicks and score goal after goal, no holds barred. What made it even worse was in the second half; I was the keeper, and as keeper I am by default the captain of the defense. As I was calling out instructions, I could hear their substitutes making snide comments. At one point, two of their players started taking dives in an attempt to pull a sympathy call. The first time they succeeded, but the second time I took the guy out while making a legitimate pass for the ball. He of course made obnoxious loud noises and tried to pull a penalty kick out of it, even though I had only clipped him and still managed to get the ball. To rub salt in the wound, they had the nerve to still tell me "Nice save" and "Good game." Good game my ass.

I can't even remember the last time I've been that enraged. While that second diver was on the ground I considered kicking and punching his face into the backside of his skull. All I could allow myself to do though was snap at him to get up. Quite frankly I'm surprised that's all I did. I suppose subconsciously I knew it wasn't worth the brief satisfaction of beating the shit out of him in front of the crappy referees. Regardless, I have no respect for people who quibble over the scorekeepers not changing the score fast enough or those who don't know when enough is enough. That however does not justify instigating a fight on the field of play. Overall it's not worth the card, or a possible permanent ejection from the team.

I can only hope karma comes back around someday and splatters their stupid asses all over the astroturf. Then maybe, just maybe, they might understand what it's like to see when a game no longer is a game, but an embarrassment on their part when they create that big of a margin between scores.

AdventureTime in College: The Confrontation Consideration

AdventureTime in College: Just Because You Can Doesn't Mean You Should

The poster here is extremely fitting...

Apparently my university has been studying up on methods of how to piss people off from the Egyptian government. Today they decided, without telling us, to block Facebook for a good part of the day. While it did create a boost in my productivity, I think their reasoning is a little off. From what I understand, other students were making their opinions known about not having another snow day on the university's Facebook page, and there may or may not have been an event encouraging people to stay home. If there were, it would be for a fair reason, as we're still battling two foot high snow drifts and a negative wind chill. For commuters, I can only imagine what a bitch it must have been trying to find a way out of the maze that is now Lake Shore Drive.

While the school might have been displeased with the overall reaction, I personally think theirs was even more childish. Blocking a website so people can't tell others what they feel about the situation? Holy censorship! I realize that the administration might feel a little godly having the great Facebook On/Off Switch, but flaunting it like that isn't going to solve any problems, just make more.

People ditch class all the time, probably every day. People also spend an inordinate amount of time on Facebook every day. Frankly, I think the administration should let students fail because of their own poor choices, not attempt an intervention. Much as I hate to admit it, I, along with my fellow students, am an adult and as such am expected to make adult decisions. If I want to fritter my day away clamoring for another snow day on Facebook to a cyber-deaf institution, that's my own piss-poor decision, but if no one's getting hurt, tuition's still getting paid and the intent is to return to class when conditions safely allow, what's the problem here?

Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

AdventureTime in College: Just Because You Can Doesn't Mean You Should

AdventureTime in College: Snowpocalypse

This wicked weather system up top was taken by NASA's satellites. Chicago is expecting to take the full brunt of it sometime tonight. Already the wind has threatened to knock me down several times today. Visibility has dropped to pretty much nil. 

Ah well, at least I have no classes tomorrow...first snow day of my college career. Thank you Patron of Snowstorms, whoever you are.

This is where Lake Michigan used to be. 

I will give props to anyone who can find the Red Line Stop here.

AdventureTime in College: Snowpocalypse

Mass Exodus: Facebook Edition

This past week on Facebook I noticed a peculiar trend. Every time I checked my profile, the friend list count fluctuated, either dropping one and gaining two, or dropping three and and gaining one. This is nothing new to me, this has been going on for several months now. This week, however, it decidedly plummeted and has since remained steady.

To be honest, I can't say this is terribly upsetting. From what I've figured out, many of those who decided to cast me off are people I didn't talk to often, if at all. Still, I entertained the fleeting question only briefly: Why? Weirded out by my nerdiness? Extremely possible. Plagued by postings from this blog? Also possible, fleeing is a typical reaction from consistent literacy. Thought they were too "cool" for me? -dingdingding- The winner, with a whopping most likely.

My overall evaluation of the situation? Pfft, whatever. There's a 99.9999% chance they weren't really my "friend" at all. They did me a favor by identifying themselves now, saving me the trouble of doing it later.

Humans are a curious thing indeed.

Mass Exodus: Facebook Edition

Hello, Nothing - A Haiku

Nothing, how are you?

I think I am Something, but 

I'm just Nothing, too.

Hello, Nothing - A Haiku

This Is The Reason I Want A Faster Metabolism

Seriously, I wish there was a pill or something out there for women that could speed up our metabolisms to such a point it might even rival a man's already freakish metabolism.

Now even though I'm a carnivore at heart, I have my limits, and these guys just throw limits to the wind and concoct the most ridiculous meals ever. I only dream of being able to eat stuff like this without feeling any backlash. Don't you hate how guys can do that? Just eat mountains of deliciousness and never gain an ounce? 

-Sigh- One day very very soon I also will be able to attain such a feat...but I only want to do it once, just to say I did it.

If she can do it, I can do it too, dammit.

This Is The Reason I Want A Faster Metabolism

Writing Exercise #6: Summer Jobs I'd Probably Kill To Have

Just once I'd love to see one of these kinds of postings for summer jobs....

Engine Mechanic for Firefly

                                                                                                         

Princess Rescuer

Storyboard Designer for Hayao Miyazaki

Convention Costume Designer

Run my own Underground Steampunk Society

Be a Paid Hobbyist and Make Nintoasters

Pokémon Trainer

Writing Exercise #6: Summer Jobs I'd Probably Kill To Have

Frozen Rose

Cold, immobile.

Wind whipping across sleeping waters

gnawing, biting, burning.

Deep freeze settles in

creeping stealthily into

the very space between

the atoms of my existence

lulling their hum into

near silence.

When the sun deigns to shine,

it shines right through me

as if I'm not there.

I lie as if dead

though I'm only just

sleeping

dreaming of a warmth

soft and tender.

[I just realized after typing this out it really does look like a rose. Holy unplanned awesome, Batman!]

Frozen Rose

Leonard Hofstadter, Please Marry Me

Now that the dumbass stalker from the previous post is finally out of the picture for good (he had the gall to respond to me today...hmmm...), I am free at last to pursue one of the loves of my life: Johnny Galecki, or Leonard Hofstadter from "The Big Bang Theory."

Damn, he'll be the death of me....

Leonard Hofstadter, Please Marry Me

"I'm Alright, I'm Just Fine And You're A Tool So, So What?"

This is quite possibly the best GTFO email I've sent off to someone. Remember this guy? He decided to try and "patch things up" with me this past week. Though he might not realize it yet, our conversation only further convinced me that I'm better off without him in my life. This is the email I shot off today that will hopefully be the final nail in the coffin of this miserable connection.

"Thank you for completely wasting my time this week with your pathetic BAAWWW'ing. I'll be sure to file it away under 'B' for 'Bawling diatribes from an ignorant sexist bitch that I couldn't care any less about.' You think I'm stupid? No. Mixing up 'there,' 'their' and 'they're' is 'stupid.' Talking about past lovers on a first date is 'stupid.' Disappearing for months at a time, army or not, expecting me to realize how much I 'need' you and beg you to come back when I'm already happy with my life without you is not so much 'stupid' as it is grounds to permanently black mark you out of my calendar. To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing when you 'disappeared' not once but multiple times for extended periods thinking it would change my mind, or when you thought that by saying 'I love you anyway' would push me into a tearful submissive state that you could take advantage of. So forgive me but I couldn't care less if this time you're only going to be gone for a month. Since your world apparently revolves around controlling people, prolonged temper tantrums and self-idolizing, I'm sure it must be so difficult to consider someone else's feelings for a full 24 hours straight. The good news for you is that my current boyfriend doesn't think you're a terrible person, he just thinks you're an average run of the mill dick who commands about as much respect as a basement dwelling porn collector. I might be wrong, but it's really difficult to respect someone who demands cyber-sex from his online 'girlfriend', who he claims he 'loves,' when the reality is he's probably asking for the same thing from every two-cent whore on Facebook, Yahoo, MSN, etcetera.  By the way, from the amount of time you spent exulting your 'tower' you would be better off exhibiting it to people on Chatroulette, as they have no high standards there. Just thought you might like to know.  Talk to you never"

"I'm Alright, I'm Just Fine And You're A Tool So, So What?"

Exposed! Winter Break: What Really Happened

A few posts back I made a list of things I wanted to do over winter break, with no restrictions whatsoever. Naturally, most of it didn't really happen, but I still have a week left to go so there's still some hope. Snapping back to reality though, this is what I really did so far....

Little Kids Again
I had my friends over for a birthday gathering last week. It was a 90s throwback, and Mishka and my sissy from another missy graciously agreed to help me set up the house. Without them I never would have been able to do all of it myself. We coated the entire first floor with 90s stuff, like Beanie Babies and Pokemon pictures. I even managed to scrounge up an N64 and a Wii (not very 90s but we barely used it anyway). We ended up playing Apples to Apples, Super Smash Bros. and towards the end we trolled the trolls on Chatroulette. We had one of my friends stuff two balloons up his shirt, and when he sat back it looked like a girl with a very ample bosom...at least until he leaned forward. There were some pretty spectacular reactions, most notably at the end when he popped the balloons with a toothpick. In all I think it's reasonable to say that everyone had a good time.

King George VI Had A Dirty Mouth

One of the more memorable movies I saw this break was "The King's Speech," which illustrated the story of how King George VI formed a relationship with his speech therapist, and by use of rather unorthodox techniques, overcame his crippling stammer. One of my favourite parts was when Lionel realized that Bertie didn't stammer when he swore, so he had him go on a swearing rampage. I was in tears watching the future King of England cuss like a sailor. In all it was a spectacular movie, and if you have the chance I would highly recommend it.













"Make new friends, but keep the old..."
So far I've had ample amounts of time to catch up with my friends back in my neck of the woods. We've ice-skated, gone to movies, bowling and visited our favourite coffee house. We even managed to catch up with Dave, our patriarch. He read our cards again, and I was pleased to see that my reading changed noticeably from last time, but I'll save that for another post.


Overall it's been a very decent break, but I still have one more week to wreak some havoc...

Exposed! Winter Break: What Really Happened

If Gabriel Iglesias Were Jesus...

...we'd all be getting drunk texts like this every other night:

There would be no need for doubt if we had this pleasant reminder.

This video here explains the kissy faces.

Gabriel Iglesias I'm Not Fat I'm Fluffy Part 4 - Watch more funny videos here

If Gabriel Iglesias Were Jesus...

On Getting Older

Today I turn 19 years old. It's my last year as a teenager. Nineteen years....that's practically a career. In terms of technology, I'm ancient history. When I was little I never really pictured myself in college, with awesome friends and a supportive family and in general a great life. In 19 years I've:

~Made friends, lost friends, gained more friends

~Had my heart broken

~Fixed it when I found my better half

~Not contracted any STDs (not going to have sex yet...not ready for it)

~Gone to grammar school, high school and now college

~Never done drugs

~Never been wasted (got buzzed, but hardly drunk)

~Never been pregnant

~Never started any stupid fights

~Held down a few jobs

~SURVIVED

The only plans I really have is a family dinner. We shall be feasting on prime rib roast, twice baked potatoes, bread and I'm assuming some healthy veggie of some sort, most likely a salad. Here's to my final year of childhood....

On Getting Older

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes

Even though the New Year hosts talked through pretty much the entire countdown, I still have a list of things I want to make happen in this year 2011. I'm not going to get used to writing that on everything until....June at the earliest.

1. Tell it straight, no chaser.
One thing I learned in college is that I am extremely honest when I have alcohol in my system. I will tell anything straight, with absolutely no regret. It's as if the brain-tongue barrier doesn't even exist. I hope to carry that mentality even when my blood alcohol content is 0.00 (with discretion).

2. Are you an asshole? The door is open. Get out.
I am so tired of people who constantly piss me off. I am not going to waste my life spending time with people who make me unhappy. I deserve better. If you screw around with me, you're done. I was far too liberal with second chances, and I got walked all over like a doormat. The asshat from this post learned this lesson the hard way when I finally decided to kick his stupid ass off my Facebook page. I say that about him because despite my patience with him, he still had the gall to talk shit to me. Game over, pal.


3. Read, write, draw more.
This kind of speaks for itself. I miss writing and drawing and reading.

4. I will still love you even when you do stupid shit.
This one goes out to Mishka. I love you, you're my best friend. I know there was some trouble in paradise, but in reality it was all stupid and I decidedly overreacted. I promise to try and be more tolerable when you do something I don't like, and hopefully I will be able to tell you how I feel without clamming up. I am comforted by the fact that you know how to fight fair, and you are more than willing to make amends. I also will do the same. Yես քեզ կը սիրեմ Ալեքսանդր.


5. I will kick ass in college.
While I had a pretty solid first semester, I think I can do even better with this one. Additionally, I think I need to take more advantage of the facilities at and surrounding the college campus.


6. Somehow I will love myself.
If Mishka can see past my imperfections, I should be able to as well. I will eat better and live better, and my body should be able to fall in step with that.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes