The tie. A symbol of the well-to-do. A decorative piece for the neck. A typical part of formal office wear. In college especially, a clear warning to stay the fuck out of the room, lest you wish to die a horrid death at the hands of your roommate. It clearly says "YOU! SHALL NOT! PAASSS!" At least it should. If they made talking ties that actually said that I would totally buy them all. But I digress...
This past Friday my roommate decided to inform me last minute that her out of town boyfriend would be staying over this weekend. This happened twice last semester as well, so by this point I knew the drill: vacate. She informed that he would be leaving at some point today, but didn't really expound on when. The stage was then set for me to gain my advantage over her.
This weekend my football game was the earliest yet, round one in the afternoon. I left my temporary den and descended to grab my change of clothes and be on my way. When I got to my door, I found the handle unlocked, and from what I could tell it didn't sound like there was much activity going on inside the room, so naturally I went inside.
Oh how to describe what was going on. I had apparently chosen the opportune moment to interrupt my roommate's "happy time" with her boyfriend. Probably the most hilarious part was when she decided to try and hide what was going on. I wasn't born yesterday, guys.
This brings me to ask, "What the fuck." Are you that moronic that you couldn't take one of my neckties and hang it over the doorknob, or even a sock? Did it occur to either of you to at least lock the door so at the very least you would have an extra three seconds to compose yourselves? Invisible ties don't count people. If you're too lazy to do even that at least send a courtesy text that says "Don't come in for another 12 minutes." I'll know then to stay away. I told my dad this story and he suggested next time I tarry my stay and rummage through drawers and the like. I on the other hand think my 30 second intrusion was more than enough to kill the buzz. She's been doing the "Walk of Shame" ever since for the rest of the day. The power I have....it's delicious. Believe me, if the situation calls for it, I will use it. It's my Ring of Power, and if you need to go down I'll see that I bring you down.
Next time chica, take a lesson from Gandalf and block me properly.
This past Friday my roommate decided to inform me last minute that her out of town boyfriend would be staying over this weekend. This happened twice last semester as well, so by this point I knew the drill: vacate. She informed that he would be leaving at some point today, but didn't really expound on when. The stage was then set for me to gain my advantage over her.
This weekend my football game was the earliest yet, round one in the afternoon. I left my temporary den and descended to grab my change of clothes and be on my way. When I got to my door, I found the handle unlocked, and from what I could tell it didn't sound like there was much activity going on inside the room, so naturally I went inside.
Oh how to describe what was going on. I had apparently chosen the opportune moment to interrupt my roommate's "happy time" with her boyfriend. Probably the most hilarious part was when she decided to try and hide what was going on. I wasn't born yesterday, guys.
This brings me to ask, "What the fuck." Are you that moronic that you couldn't take one of my neckties and hang it over the doorknob, or even a sock? Did it occur to either of you to at least lock the door so at the very least you would have an extra three seconds to compose yourselves? Invisible ties don't count people. If you're too lazy to do even that at least send a courtesy text that says "Don't come in for another 12 minutes." I'll know then to stay away. I told my dad this story and he suggested next time I tarry my stay and rummage through drawers and the like. I on the other hand think my 30 second intrusion was more than enough to kill the buzz. She's been doing the "Walk of Shame" ever since for the rest of the day. The power I have....it's delicious. Believe me, if the situation calls for it, I will use it. It's my Ring of Power, and if you need to go down I'll see that I bring you down.
Next time chica, take a lesson from Gandalf and block me properly.
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