AdventureTime in College: The Invisible Tie Dilemma

The tie. A symbol of the well-to-do. A decorative piece for the neck. A typical part of formal office wear. In college especially, a clear warning to stay the fuck out of the room, lest you wish to die a horrid death at the hands of your roommate. It clearly says "YOU! SHALL NOT! PAASSS!" At least it should. If they made talking ties that actually said that I would totally buy them all. But I digress...

This past Friday my roommate decided to inform me last minute that her out of town boyfriend would be staying over this weekend. This happened twice last semester as well, so by this point I knew the drill: vacate. She informed that he would be leaving at some point today, but didn't really expound on when. The stage was then set for me to gain my advantage over her.

This weekend my football game was the earliest yet, round one in the afternoon. I left my temporary den and descended to grab my change of clothes and be on my way. When I got to my door, I found the handle unlocked, and from what I could tell it didn't sound like there was much activity going on inside the room, so naturally I went inside.



Oh how to describe what was going on. I had apparently chosen the opportune moment to interrupt my roommate's "happy time" with her boyfriend. Probably the most hilarious part was when she decided to try and hide what was going on. I wasn't born yesterday, guys.

This brings me to ask, "What the fuck." Are you that moronic that you couldn't take one of my neckties and hang it over the doorknob, or even a sock? Did it occur to either of you to at least lock the door so at the very least you would have an extra three seconds to compose yourselves? Invisible ties don't count people. If you're too lazy to do even that at least send a courtesy text that says "Don't come in for another 12 minutes." I'll know then to stay away. I told my dad this story and he suggested next time I tarry my stay and rummage through drawers and the like. I on the other hand think my 30 second intrusion was more than enough to kill the buzz. She's been doing the "Walk of Shame" ever since for the rest of the day. The power I have....it's delicious. Believe me, if the situation calls for it, I will use it. It's my Ring of Power, and if you need to go down I'll see that I bring you down.

Next time chica, take a lesson from Gandalf and block me properly.

AdventureTime in College: The Invisible Tie Dilemma

AdventureTime in College: The Confrontation Consideration

It's been three years since I've played the glorious game of football. This past Sunday I had the chance to get back into the game in my university's intramural leagues on a co-rec team. It felt pretty good to be back running around kicking the crap out of a leather sphere. It felt even better to play with a mixed gender team; I always thought that playing with boys was better than playing with all girls. I thought they put less drama into the game, unless it was for a reason. My pleasure however was a bittersweet pill.

A word about my team: this was the first time we've all played together, so naturally I wasn't expecting plays to connect right away. I would compare the composition to a typical American Youth Soccer Organization team: a few excellent players, a handful of about average players and still a few who have the capacity to be good but need a little push to be more assertive and aggressive.

Unfortunately, our first game was definitely not the best I've ever played with a team. From what I understood, we were up against a team where about half or more of them played on the club team. It started out as good fun, but before the first half even ended it had become a bloodsport. In my opinion, they were total assholes, with no sense of honor or respect to us. To my knowledge, there is no existing slaughter rule in this league, so that apparently encouraged this opponent to be complete dicks and score goal after goal, no holds barred. What made it even worse was in the second half; I was the keeper, and as keeper I am by default the captain of the defense. As I was calling out instructions, I could hear their substitutes making snide comments. At one point, two of their players started taking dives in an attempt to pull a sympathy call. The first time they succeeded, but the second time I took the guy out while making a legitimate pass for the ball. He of course made obnoxious loud noises and tried to pull a penalty kick out of it, even though I had only clipped him and still managed to get the ball. To rub salt in the wound, they had the nerve to still tell me "Nice save" and "Good game." Good game my ass.

I can't even remember the last time I've been that enraged. While that second diver was on the ground I considered kicking and punching his face into the backside of his skull. All I could allow myself to do though was snap at him to get up. Quite frankly I'm surprised that's all I did. I suppose subconsciously I knew it wasn't worth the brief satisfaction of beating the shit out of him in front of the crappy referees. Regardless, I have no respect for people who quibble over the scorekeepers not changing the score fast enough or those who don't know when enough is enough. That however does not justify instigating a fight on the field of play. Overall it's not worth the card, or a possible permanent ejection from the team.

I can only hope karma comes back around someday and splatters their stupid asses all over the astroturf. Then maybe, just maybe, they might understand what it's like to see when a game no longer is a game, but an embarrassment on their part when they create that big of a margin between scores.

AdventureTime in College: The Confrontation Consideration

AdventureTime in College: Just Because You Can Doesn't Mean You Should

The poster here is extremely fitting...

Apparently my university has been studying up on methods of how to piss people off from the Egyptian government. Today they decided, without telling us, to block Facebook for a good part of the day. While it did create a boost in my productivity, I think their reasoning is a little off. From what I understand, other students were making their opinions known about not having another snow day on the university's Facebook page, and there may or may not have been an event encouraging people to stay home. If there were, it would be for a fair reason, as we're still battling two foot high snow drifts and a negative wind chill. For commuters, I can only imagine what a bitch it must have been trying to find a way out of the maze that is now Lake Shore Drive.

While the school might have been displeased with the overall reaction, I personally think theirs was even more childish. Blocking a website so people can't tell others what they feel about the situation? Holy censorship! I realize that the administration might feel a little godly having the great Facebook On/Off Switch, but flaunting it like that isn't going to solve any problems, just make more.

People ditch class all the time, probably every day. People also spend an inordinate amount of time on Facebook every day. Frankly, I think the administration should let students fail because of their own poor choices, not attempt an intervention. Much as I hate to admit it, I, along with my fellow students, am an adult and as such am expected to make adult decisions. If I want to fritter my day away clamoring for another snow day on Facebook to a cyber-deaf institution, that's my own piss-poor decision, but if no one's getting hurt, tuition's still getting paid and the intent is to return to class when conditions safely allow, what's the problem here?

Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

AdventureTime in College: Just Because You Can Doesn't Mean You Should

AdventureTime in College: Snowpocalypse

This wicked weather system up top was taken by NASA's satellites. Chicago is expecting to take the full brunt of it sometime tonight. Already the wind has threatened to knock me down several times today. Visibility has dropped to pretty much nil. 

Ah well, at least I have no classes tomorrow...first snow day of my college career. Thank you Patron of Snowstorms, whoever you are.

This is where Lake Michigan used to be. 

I will give props to anyone who can find the Red Line Stop here.

AdventureTime in College: Snowpocalypse

AdventureTime in College: I Knew There Was A Reason I Love Coke Zero

My senses have been assaulted. My perception of reality has been totally fucked with. I still have finals coming up. But none of that matters because I saw an advanced screening of "TRON: Legacy."

Coke Zero was at my campus handing out free vouchers for two tickets apiece, for a very reasonable time-slot. I'd have been a fool to not take advantage of this golden opportunity.

I'm not giving any of the plot details away, though I will say it made quite a few references to the 1982 version of "TRON." The movie was not nearly as popular as the video game release. This movie went completely over the top in the graphics department. Remember when "The Matrix" graphics took up five terabytes, and that was a whole megashitload? Yea, I wouldn't be surprised if this blew it out of the water.

The long and short of it is, I definitely recommend seeing this flick. The graphics are breathtaking, the plot is nostalgic and intriguing and the soundtrack really does make you feel like you're saving the world.

Radical, man.

AdventureTime in College: I Knew There Was A Reason I Love Coke Zero

AdventureTime in College: Cult of the Computer Nerds

Tonight I had the pleasure of attending my first offical Local Area Network (LAN) party, hosted by the Computer Science department. Mishka and I have hardwired our computers together to play Battle for Middle Earth before, but this was my first ever 15+ multi-player game. Tonight's entertainment was Urban Terror, similar to Counter Strike but not quite. A nicely rendered Real Time Strategy (RTS) first-person shooter, the goal is run around and shoot people, obviously. Though I sucked in the beginning, I did manage to take 4th place in one round, and I was rather proud of myself.

At the end of the day I had a really good time. The room was alive with bantering and exclamations over who shot who. I'm honestly surprised security didn't come kick us out; the room's basement location must have lent some advantage, or they just figured we wouldn't do anything malicious outside of our game. Mishka and I have been invited back for future events. I feel like I've joined a secret cult, and it's exhilarating...

AdventureTime in College: Cult of the Computer Nerds

AdventureTime in College: The Video Card Debacle

 About two weeks ago now, my Precalc teacher implored my class for computer help. His very expensive computer tower fell from a rickety man-made shelf, and it had screwed up his video playback. Just a little background on the guy, he was born in Bombay and spent quite a bit of time in Germany. Needless to say, he hasn't been around long enough to shake his heavy accent, so simply calling tech support wasn't a viable option. I sat there pondering whether or not to help this guy out. I'm no computer expert, but I know people who are pretty good with hardware and he knew a good software guy, so I figured between the two we could fix it without dropping another grand for a new tower. Besides, I felt pretty bad for him...he's one of those cute little old men that could pass as your grandfather. 


At the end of class I offered to drag bring along Mishka ("bear" in Russian, for those of you who don't want to schlep all the way to Google Translator for a half-assed Russian-to-English translation. A.K.A. the boyfriend), who's pretty solid in the hardware department. We hauled our tool kits over and cracked open his case. The only obvious damage was to the video card, which amazingly didn't break, but it did bend. It was a very nice video card too, the kind that marathon World of Warcraft users probably burn through, then proceed to flip out about doing so over it, just like this kid here below.

 

But moving right along...we surmised that he would need a new video card, so we went out to CompUSA (which is infinitely better than Best Buy in terms of knowledgeability) and got one. We installed it but -uh oh- no improvement. We followed the instructions, hacked around for video card drivers, nothing. Three phone calls and several emails later, we found out the software guy who came to tweak his display image (he likes the perfect "o's" on his screen....mathematician's O.C.D.), and he fixed the video problem by downloading video card drivers for the onboard video card, which had kicked when the previous video card was destroyed. None of us ever would have guessed that.

AdventureTime in College: The Video Card Debacle

AdventureTime in College: Das Lebkuchenhaus

article I. is Alexandra fit to be an architect?

The First Point: I. It would seem so. Walt Disney said "If you can dream it, you can do it." Hence anyone is capable of doing anything if they have the power to conjure up mental images during the REM sleep phase.

On the other hand, just because you can do something doesn't necessarily mean you should. It doesn't take much skill to build a house out of graham crackers and candy, but it takes years of professional work to build a city.

Reply: Alexandra is most certainly not fit to be an architect. Firstly, she has never imagined herself as one and secondly, she is absolute rubbish at building even a gingerbread house. Presenting Exhibit

A

Ever so appetizing...

A creation such as this is guaranteed to give the consumer cavities.

Hence: I. Based on photographic evidence, Alexandra should not be trusted with actual brick and mortar.

AdventureTime in College: Das Lebkuchenhaus

AdventureTime in College: Pilot

Ah, my poor blog, you have suffered much in my absence. I don't know how to apologize for my complete lack of motivation to write about nonsense. I have been off questing in the new frontier that is a college campus. Though it's only been about two months, already I have stories to tell.

Trolleys, Rev Your Engines
At college a crap-ton of welcome activities are packed into only a few days. One such event was a trolley ride around the city of Chicago during late night hours. As a long-time resident, I was already familiar with much of the city, but I couldn't resist the invitation to go out and play past what would have been my curfew. The tour itself was so-so, but it had its moments, like the drunk people screaming at us from their cars or the sidewalk.

Cheap Locks Don't Work in Rogers Park
Before classes even started, my boyfriend got himself into quite a conundrum. He was the inheritor of a half-broken cable lock for his very expensive, oversized PDA. Goshdarnit, he forgot the combination, and his sister, the gracious bestower of said lock, couldn't remember either. So the both of us broke out our tool kits and did a B&E on that SOB...and no, not bacon and eggs. So that was how I learned how a cheap rotary lock works.

Nerdgasm Central
We now progress to several weeks into the semester, and already my brain is starting to look a little something like this:

Fine cuisine if you're a zombie...

Naturally, I sought respite before boiling hot canola oil started pouring out of my cranial cavity. My cure came in the form of a train stop that happens to be Nerd Heaven. There's a comic book store, a Halloween shop and two video game stores that cover everything from Atari to Wii. *nerdgasm* It would not surprise me in the slightest if I solved the national debt problem just in this one location.

Thankfully, fall break is almost upon me. I hope I can defibrillate this blog and get back onto a somewhat regular writing streak. 

AdventureTime in College: Pilot