10 Sites That May Turn You Into an Internet Zombie

I have scoured the interwebs and my bookmarks and collected a list of ten websites that could very well have the potential to turn people into internet zombies. They are about as addicting as brains. The challenge, however, was to find sites outside of social networking and shopping, because everyone's aware of how much a virus Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, etc. are. So here are my top ten sites, presented in no particular priority.



10. Cracked.com
A collection of miscellaneous humorous articles on every topic imaginable.

9. nintendo8.com
A treasure trove of classic 8-bit games that don't require download. Essentially a nostalgic gamer's dream come true.

8. hacknmod.com
Oh, the many ways to manipulate technology. Offers tutorials from how to play Tetris on your wall with LED lights to hacking that pesky iPhone.

7. http://icanhascheezburger.com/
Mindless entertainment provided by cats. And other assorted animals....wait, a crocodile made the cut?! Watch out, kittehs!

6. perezhilton.com
Mindless entertainment provided by celebrities. A windfall of material for those who like to comment on the young (or not so young) and dumb yet famous citizens of Hollywood.

5. picnik.com
For those who simply must have their profile picture now. As in right this minute, I don't have the time to mess around with Photoshop. Very user-friendly, offers a variety of ways to make your profile picture snazzy in very little time.

4. myinsults.com
Ever wanted to chew someone out really badly but hesitated because you knew they would understand you? Say what you want to say in another language!

3. fold.it
Like to do puzzles? Wonder how you can use your puzzle solving skills to do some good? This is a site you should look into. Literally, you are solving 3D puzzles of proteins for the sake of science. Without much effort at all. What more could you ask for.

2. www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/surgeryvideos.html
This is not a site for the faint of heart. Expecting to undergo surgery, but don't know what's going to happen to you once you go under? Interested in finding out? This site is more than likely to have a video of your procedure, along with information on tools, recovery time, etc.

1. www.wnyc.org/shows/radiolab/
A radio program that offers an hour on some of the most unusual topics to be discussed over the airwaves, such as unintended consequences, tumors, life after death, how we recognize people and much more.

10 Sites That May Turn You Into an Internet Zombie

Brownie Points

Working in the production industry, I've experienced first-hand how it is to be a minion.

I work as a set crew intern at an arts center. My duties entail building the sets, hunting for props and running house crew. One of the plays we're working on is "Little Shop of Horrors." For those of you who are unfamiliar with the plot....just go to http://www.imdb.com/ and look it up, I don't want to give it all away.

"Feed me, Seymour!"

One of our missions was to quest for dentist stuff. I went to my dentist's office and to my utmost surprise, they told me they were cleaning house and did in fact have chairs to get rid of.

"Audrey I"

"Audrey II"

Slight problem. Both chairs they had to offer were 400 lbs. apiece, plus there was a waiver to sign. Ho'kay, back to the drawing board...

So then they tell me there's a patient who collects and scraps dentist chairs for spare parts. I get in touch with the guy, and he says he'd help us out as long as he could get a charitable donation on his tax forms. So I talk to all the right people and make sure he gets all the necessary forms. Another roadblock: he hasn't returned any of my supervisor's phone calls. Nice going, you bastard.

Now I'm scrambling to redeem myself, so I go back to the office and explain the situation. By some act of grace, there is one chair left, and it's only 175 lbs. You bet your ass I get right on the phone and start harvesting a truck and some able bodies. So if that rat bastard ever decides to call back, I can say, "Haha, fuck you, I already got a chair!"

My evaluation: Don't fuck with the minions. We're the ones who get shit done.

                                           

Brownie Points

An Attempt at Dream Analysis

This morning I awoke from a most peculiar dream. I decided to try and decode it with the help of the interwebs and Jack Altman's 1,001 Dreams.

In the dream, I saw a dragon, about the size of Mushu from Mulan, taking something from what looked like a giant Pez dispenser in the shape of a dragon's head at an altar. Upon closer inspection, this dragon's head was filled with bubbling different colours. I saw him mix different colours together and taste them. He would start to sing, and each combination seemed to evoke a different emotion. When I tried it myself, it didn't work. He informed me it had to be mixed by a dragon's claws for there to be any effect.

-Analysis-

Dragon: a dark force force in my nature that I must address in order to achieve self-fulfillment OR it represents primal energy and the forces of heaven.

Song: an invitation to explore a potential for personal creativity.

Altar: spiritual strength and help from higher planes.

Colours

*These are all the colours I saw in the dream.

Gold: aspects of my true self that I value.

Pink: love, joy, sweetness, happiness, affection, kindness.

Purple: devotion, healing abilities, compassion.

Red: raw energy, force, vigor.

Yellow: intellect, agility, energy, harmony, wisdom.

Green: positive change, hope, growth, vitality; also represents the strive to gain recognition and establish independence. 

An Attempt at Dream Analysis

This I Believe: A Turn of the Cards

I believe in living life to the absolute fullest. For some it means fast and furious and for others tranquil and slow. It can be as simple as indulging in an extra slice of Dutch apple pie or as complex as starting over after recovering from a long-term illness.

During spring break of my senior year in high school, I went out with my boyfriend and a few other friends to a local coffee house to escape the drama of college applications, job hunting and the impending Final Exams of Doom. We weren't expecting anything special out of that day, just to kick back with drinks and pastries and trade a few laughs. Then we met Dave. We had assumed him to be just another patron, but there he was, jumping right into our conversation of anything and everything. We pulled up chairs to his table, welcoming him into our group. Even though we didn't know him, he basically poured his life out to us, and we reciprocated. Dave, we learned, collected and read tarot cards, and that evening he offered to read them for each of us for free. I don't put a whole lot of faith into tarot card readings because they are a huge opportunity for scams. I had nothing to lose in this situation, so it was an "Eh, what the hell" decision. To my surprise, his interpretation was absolutely dead-on, as it was for everyone else there that night. It was very hard to leave to be home in time for curfew. Even though Dave was many years our senior, he was a beautiful person with a warm personality, and I was extremely unwilling to let him go just like that.

One thing that has stuck with me from my tarot card reading is that all the obstacles that stand in my way are in my head; I am my own limits. With that in mind, I want to play my music a little too loudly. I want to go on all the most extreme roller coasters in America. I want to travel the world and come home at the end of the day. I want to laugh, to cry, to throw at least one full blown bitchfit. I want to experience because only then do I know that I am alive.

This I Believe: A Turn of the Cards

Dear Wanker in the Chatroom,

Why is it that you make it your priority to solicit me for sex the second I join the room?
I'm not here to cater to the needs of your non-existent d*ck. What's even more amusing is your desire to keep me up to date on your imaginary active sex life. I also love how foolish you think I am. You say you're 19, when your profile clearly says you're 22. It really makes my life so much easier when you ask me to perform cyber sex in botched English. I feel that less guilty about blocking your stupid ass. For all you know, I could be an undercover cop posing as a teen, out hunting for punks like you. I hope one day you do get busted. Then everyone will know that all you do is sit in the basement with your pants down in front of a webcam looking for cheap thrills.

Here's to you, fail whale.

Dear Wanker in the Chatroom,